We Don't Want Any Sad Faces. Turn That Frown Upside Down

"We Don't Want Any Sad Faces. Turn That Frown Upside Down."

Again, the crazy notion that by denying one's feelings they will go away.
People who do not have the depth to be able to handle the pain of others...
Poor souls...they are the ones who ask others not to show too openly their own emotions for they are too much to bear...

This world needs adults.
This world needs to cultivate strong people, to pass on that strength to others.

There Are Some Things You Just Don't Say

Why not?

I believe that if a person has something to say, even if it's uncomfortable, it is important.
Why?
Because it is an expression of that person,
an expression of that person's truth,
an expression of that person's state of mind.
Even unpleasant, or supposedly frivolous things, are still an expression of a person's truth.

I hope humanity will mature soon and realize that things left unsaid, are wounds left untreated.
Human Beings are naturally noble creatures.
When we say things which are unpleasant, there are always important, poignant reasons for them.

Don't Be So Obvious

"Don't Be So Obvious."

So, in other words, you CANNOT be yourself.

If you really like somebody, you can't show it too much.
If you feel really badly, you can't show it too much.
If you have something to say, you can't say it too directly.

Everything is surreptitious, guileful, cautious.
What a legacy to pass on to children...

Find Something And Stick With It

"Find Something And Stick With It."

An old philosophy.
An old way of thinking.

Get a job.
Anything not too bad and stick with it.

What a wasted life that is.
What a wasted thing, to not be encouraged, to not be believed in, to not be guided to making your dreams come true.

Find something, anything, and stick with it, your feelings, your dreams be damned.

what a waste...

It's Not Impressive If Your Success Is Easy. True Success Is Hard Bought, With Blood, Sweat And Tears.

"It's Not Impressive If Your Success Is Easy.
True Success Is Hard Bought, With Blood, Sweat And Tears."

Such thinking forces people into patterns of believing that only through a great deal of suffering will they will be worthy of success.

I can speak from my own experience in saying,
such thinking is exceptionally damaging.

Be A Man Of Your Word. If You Say You're Going To Do Something, Do It.

"Be A Man Of Your Word. If You Say You're Going To Do Something, Do It.
So, Be Careful What You Say You're Going To Do.
Because If You Say It, A Real Man, Does It."

So if I say I want to kill myself, I have to do it to be a real man?
a worthwhile man?
a good man?

What if I'm just trying to express all the pain I have inside?
What if I just need someone to help me and I could be free of the pain?
Do I still need to die?

Inflexible.
So many of our beliefs are so...inflexible.
It makes for very Brittle People.
I can feel this dryness,
this crustiness,
inside myself.

Don't Be Too Obvious

"Don't Be Too Obvious."

"Otherwise People Will Think You Are Simple And Unworthy Of Their Attention.
Just A Common, Everyday, Simpleton Who Says The First Thing That Comes To Their Mind Because They Lack The Sophistication To Filter Their Thoughts."

"Naturally You Can't Let Your Emotions Get The Better Of You.
Keep A Tight Rein On Your Feelings, Or Else You Will Be No Better Than An Animal.
A Cultivated Person, Doesn't Express Their Feelings Openly.
That Is Vulgar And Common."

"Keep Your Feelings Inside And Polish And Burnish Them Until You Have Made Them Attractive And Presentable."
"Presenting Your Feelings In A Raw, Unrefined Form Shows A Simple, Undeveloped Mind."

...my god...
...we place so many horrible restrictions on ourselves...
...is it any wonder we are all so emotionally constipated...

It Doesn't Matter What Situation Or Environment You're In.

"Don't Make Excuses For Yourself.
It Doesn't Matter What Situation Or Environment You're In.
You Can Do Anything, Regardless Of Where You Are."

This Limiter is quite a noble one, in fact, it doesn't seem like a Limiter at all.

What I object to here is that this Limiter doesn't acknowledge that environment does make a difference,
it makes a HUGE difference on a person.

Why do people seek great places to live,
great places to work,
great places to go to school?
Why?
Because it makes a difference.
It makes a HUGE difference.

There are always people who succeed despite difficult odds, but the percentage is small, because it is so difficult.

Why not acknowledge that creating better, nobler, more just environments does make life better and not so damn difficult to move forward.

This Limiter runs the risk of becoming an excuse for leaving people in bad situations,
or dismissing someone when they are not moving ahead and they attribute it to their situation.
No.
The environment makes a difference.
It makes a HUGE difference.

Stop Wallowing In Self-Pity

"Stop Wallowing In Self-Pity."

"Snap Out Of It!"

"Be A Man!"

"Toughen Up!"

I believe the Human Being is a noble, loving creature by nature.
When a person is stuck in self-pity (as I am most of the time) it is not because they are "wrong" or "off",
it is because they have tried all they can on their own,
and they need the help of those magic people who can actually make a person's life better.

You're Too Old For This / Grow Up And Act Your Age

"You're Too Old For This."

"Grow Up And Act Your Age."

"You Should Have Done It When You Had The Chance."

Our society is OBSESSED with age.
heck...i am...

The Solution :

Create a society which INSURES everyone is fulfilling their dreams.
Utopia?
Nope.
Just the next step in the development of a more humane species.

If Success Were Easy, Everyone Would Be Successful

"If Success Were Easy, Everyone Would Be Successful."

This is the pinnacle example of what a Limiter is.

Denying.
Holding people back.
Shunning.
Downtrodding.
Exlusionary.

I counter this Limiter with the idea,

"Success Is Easy, When One Is Raised In A Society Which Believes It Is Easy,
In A Society Which Is 100% Dedicated To Insuring Everyone Is Successful."

Utopia?
Hardly.
Just the next humane step in our species evolution.

Everything Worthwhile Has To Be Earned, Otherwise You Don't Deserve It

"Everything Worthwhile Has To Be Earned, Otherwise You Don't Deserve It."

"Everything Worthwhile Takes Effort, Otherwise It Wasn't Worthwhile."

"Success Takes Hard Work, Otherwise It's Not Success And You Haven't Achieved Anything."

"You Have To Push Yourself So Hard You Reach Your Limit, And Then You Push Right Through It.
Otherwise, You Haven't Achieved Anything."

"Success Takes Blood, Sweat, And Tears; Otherwise, It Was Too Easy, And You Haven't Really Achieved Anything."

omg...

and we wonder why all of us are totally neurotic?
the amount of pressure we are raised to put on ourselves,
the philosophy of our species is so heavy and full of burdensome weight, it's enough to make anyone want to snap.

there is such a thin allowance of room in which one is permitted to feel good...to feel worthwhile...
we have to change this.
it's just too much pressure.

Our species new slogan must be,

"Anyone Can Do Anything, When They Believe In Themselves And Are Believed In By Others."
"Believe In Yourself. Believe In Others."

It's All In Your Head

"It's All In Your Head."

True, but typically this statement is delivered in such a way that it feels dismissive, that the person does not acknowledge that there is a problem which is debilitating a person.

This is not helpful in making a person feel better, or grow more long-term.

You Should Be Thankful. Other People Have It Much Worse Than You.

"You Should Be Thankful. Other People Have It Much Worse Than You."

An admonition which is supposed to prompt somebody to "seize the day" and "make the best of things."
A statement which is supposed to energize somebody into action.

But, all it really does, is saddle somebody with more guilt,
weigh them down with feelings of regret and self-reproach.

Or make somebody feel that the only way they will be worthy of life,
is if they also suffer more.

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How useful is guilt in changing people's behavior,
or in improving people's lives?

Stop Constantly Asking Questions, Anticipate What Other People Want

"Stop Constantly Asking Questions, Anticipate What Other People Want."

The burden of guilt our species saddles itself with.
No wonder we need the Pharmaceutical Industry to be constantly pumping us full of pain-killers.

If you act out of anticipating others wants, then you create resentment inside yourself.
You didn't know for sure what they wanted, you act out of guesswork.

You know when doing something because you know somebody will like it is not injuring yourself, and when it is.

Sometimes You Just Have To Do What You Don't Want To Do

"Sometimes You Just Have To Do What You Don't Want To Do."

And this creates resentment.

B : It shouldn't.

But it still does. We're human, not robots.

What Doesn't Kill You, Makes You Stronger

"What Doesn't Kill You, Makes You Stronger."

Again, this is a saying which can lead a person to having the wrong approach to resolving life's difficulties, believing that one must endure difficult experiences to gain strength.

One need not "endure" difficult experiences.
Difficult experiences will arise and it is human nature to do one's utmost to resolve them.
If one is not successfully resolving difficulties, continuing to endure is only destructive, and precious life is passing one by.

Seeking help and continuing to seek help until the difficulties are resolved is the effective path to follow.

No Pain, No Gain

"No Pain, No Gain."

so when has a person suffered enough?
When they are so stressed out they are taking anti-depressants everyday?
When they are so tired, they have to drink 4 cups of coffee just to open their eyes?

Only Ask For Help When You REALLY Need It

"Only Ask For Help When You REALLY Need It."

And by then the damage has already been done.

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This is (hopefully "was" now) a very common admonition in Primary school which is supposed to remind children to be independent, self-sufficient, and stand on their own 2 feet.

But, that's why communication is so important,
because what children really hear is,

"If you ask for help, you are weak, needy and a parasite, worthy only of scorn, ridicule and disgust."

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It comes down to what you believe is fundamentally human nature.

If you believe human beings are naturally lazy, licentious, apathetic creatures,
than asking for help is an expression of that laziness and lack of desire to work.

If you believe human beings are inherently noble creatures,
than a person asking for help is a sincere request and done because a person really needs help.

I believe that when people ask for help, it is because they genuinely need it,
and they should keep asking for help,
until they feel they can move on their own.